Missile Toe: A Very Confused Christmas

By: Devin Scillian
Illustrated by: Marty Kelley
Publisher: Sleeping Bear Press
Publication Date: September 2017
ISBN: 978-1585363711
Reviewed by: Ellen Feld
Review Date: October 18, 2017

Feeling the stress of the season? Life just a bit too crazy? Kids running around and not listening to you? The perfect solution is to read a book to your little ones that will give everyone lots of laughs and lighten the mood.

Missile Toe turns the Christmas tradition on its...toes...by taking classic carols and reinventing them with new meanings and words. Every child has likely misunderstood various names or meanings to our favorite Christmas tunes and author Devin Scillian has cleverly thought up what these misinterpreted names might be and rewritten the songs to fit the new titles. Take for example, "Angels We Have Heard On High" - might it really be "Angels We Half Heard on High"? And if so, might the lyrics be:

Angels we half heard on high,
mumbling something in the sky.
"What's that?" we yelled,
but they flew on by,
Those angels we half heard on high.

Did you know that "Wild Shepherds Washed Their Flocks by Night"? and boy were those shepherds silly! Bing Crosby would likely get a good laugh out of hearing one of those classic songs he helped make famous - "I'll Be Home for Christmas" turned into "I'll be a Gnome for Christmas." The author has also included portions of a few Christmas tales, such as the Dickens' favorite about "The Ghost of Christmas Present" that becomes...well, I can't tell you as I don't want to ruin the surprise.

Author Devin Scillian is a master of bringing "funny" to children's books, particularly with his "Memoirs of..." books (Memoirs of a Goldfish and Memoirs of a Hamster being two of my favorite children's books. In Missile Toe, he again taps into that talent to bring us a very funny, and fun, book. He has done a wonderful job of re-imagining classic Christmas songs and stories into very fun misinterpretations that kids will love. The lyrics flow perfectly, without any clunky lines that don't quite fit. Add in the hysterical illustrations by Marty Kelley, that add even more laughs to the story, and you've got a definite winner. You'll want to make reading this book part of your annual holiday tradition - it's a blast!

Quill says: Downright silly, absolutely loaded with laughs, Missile Toe is the perfect book to get the whole family in the Christmas mood.