Today, Feathered Quill reviewer Diane Lunsford is talking with Dr. Kathi N. Miner, author of The Committed Professor A Memoir: My Fall from the Lectern to the Psych Ward.

FQ: Thank you for your time today. I was fascinated by your courage in writing your memoir and am honored to have the opportunity to chat today. I would like to ask a few questions about you before diving into the content. You have impressive credentials and during your educational journey, was there ever a time when you wanted to ‘call it quits’ and what was your motivation to keep moving forward?

MINER: Perhaps surprisingly, I never once thought about quitting my educational journey to get a PhD in Psychology and Women’s Studies. I tend to set pretty lofty goals for myself and persevere until I complete them. I also love doing social science research so it was very rewarding for me along the way. I am committed to making even a small change in society for those who are marginalized in society, especially women, so doing research on women’s lives for a career seemed like a perfect fit.

FQ: I’m intrigued to learn more about your departure from academia and your move to the Middle East to work for a large energy company to focus more on diversity and equity in the workplace. How much of an impact did writing your memoir play on making this decision?

MINER: Writing my memoir played a huge role in my decision to leave academia. As an academic working at a research-focused university, I was constantly working on publishing journal articles and securing grants and often felt like I had little time for other pursuits in order to succeed. I was committed to writing my memoir, but was making little progress. I felt leaving academia and getting a job in industry would offer me more work-life balance to complete my book – and it did!

FQ: I too am a mother. We have two wonderful daughters (aged 26 and soon-to-be 30) and I often reflect on the many joys they have graced my husband and me with over the years. What is one stand-out moment that comes to mind for you with each of your children?

MINER: I am so proud of my children. Two key instances that stand-out for me reflect how they have each influenced and had an impact other people. My daughter is a natural-born leader, always taking charge, involving and supporting others, and making things happen. I recall picking her up from preschool one day and the head of the school telling me “Your daughter, wow, she sure is a leader with all the kids! I truly believe she is going to be president one day!” My son tends to be the same way. One proud stand-out moment for me was at one of his track meets when he was 9 years old. He is very athletic and won the race with ease. But there was one runner who was lagging behind and having difficulty keeping up. My son went over to the runner, put his arm around her, and helped her, with words and motions, finish the race.

FQ: There were many moments while reading your memoir when I had to take a break. The mental anguish your ex-husband imposed on you is egregious. I work for a non-profit veterans retreat that provides a healing place for Warriors battling with the perils of their service experience. PTSD is very much in the forefront of those we host. If you were to give a clinic on coping mechanisms to learn how to address the mental anguishes of PTSD, what would be your number one recommendation and why?

MINER: My number one recommendation would be to find good social support. What really helped me was learning I was not alone, that my emotions were valid and real, and I was not to blame. Having support provided me hope that I would overcome what happened to me and thrive in the future.

FQ: Now that your children are grown, I would surmise even though they are grown, how difficult is it to be continents away from them?

MINER: It’s extremely difficult. They live in the US and I’m in the Middle East, so I only see them once or twice a year in person. Facetime helps tremendously – we talk regularly, sometimes daily, so we remain very connected even though we are not in the physical presence of each other. I’m also the happiest I’ve ever been (aside from not being close to them), so we all agree I made the right choice.

FQ: I was angered when you shared your experience with the first attorney you hired (Harry) and his blatant disregard toward women. In your opinion, do you ever think there will be a time when people (both men and women) come to the realization that it’s not about ‘women are this’ and ‘men are that’, but rather, let’s look at the issue at hand and focus on why is this happening and how do we turn the situation around?

MINER: I do. Gender roles and expectations have changed so much, even in just our lifetime. I think it will take time, but I do believe gender will play less and less of a role in relationships, decision making, opportunities, perceptions, etc. The first step is for people to become aware of the ways in which gendered expectations, stereotypes, and roles can negatively affect all genders though this is easier said than done when so many people believe its purely biological.

FQ: Your memory of your mother and how the scent of Estee Lauder Youth Dew reminds you of her touched a chord with me. I lost my grandfather many years ago and to this day, whenever I catch a scent of Old Spice, I immediately think of him. Are there other memories that take you back to the moment and if so, can you share one?

MINER: I have many memories that a stimulation of my senses bring me back to wonderful memories as a child. The smell of a charcoal grill is one – family time, laughing, yummy food, contentment, safety, and security.

FQ: There is a definitive dichotomy between what a man can do, and a woman has to do. Without going down a political rabbit hole, why do you think every four years we are faced with the insistence of having a woman in the White House? What I mean by that is, I am all for a capable woman, but not a woman solely for the sake of a woman. What is your opinion on this notion?

MINER: The push for a woman in the White House isn’t about putting someone there just because she’s a woman, though that’s what many people believe. Rather, it’s about breaking down systematic barriers and creating a government that truly represents everyone. When we call for women in leadership, it’s because they bring different perspectives and ideas, shaped by unique life experiences, that have been historically underrepresented. It’s not about ticking a box—it’s about ensuring we’re not missing out on voices that can drive real change for all Americans. So, every few years, this call resurfaces because people want leaders who reflect the diversity of our country and bring new, and often ignored and marginalized, ideas to the table. I think having a woman in the White House is a long time coming!

FQ: Your quote: ‘…abusers don’t have to punch you, choke you, or slam your head into a wall in order for it to be abuse…’ is quite powerful. There was an exchange with the police department when you attempted to take out a restraining order against your ex-husband because of his disgusting mental abuses toward you, yet the officer essentially said it wasn’t enough. How defenseless did this make you feel and if you were asked to give a lecture to law enforcement on this topic, how would you impress the importance of mental abuse and the need to be part of the criteria to gain such a restraining order?

MINER: My experience dealing with the legal and court systems during an abusive divorce felt like one defeat after another. I always thought those systems were there to support victims like me but instead I only felt more traumatized. In my research for the book, I learned that judges, attorneys, law enforcement etc. are dismally educated and prepared to deal with psychological abusers. If I was to give a lecture to law enforcement about the importance of mental abuse and the need to be part of the criteria for a restraining order, I would focus on three key points: (1) mental abuse is a form of abuse – while it may leave no physical scars, mental abuse is deeply damaging and can, and often does, escalate into physical violence; (2) patterns of power and control – mental abuse reflects a pattern of domination that often leaves victims too disoriented or fearful to report abuse, which means law enforcement must be proactive in identifying and addressing the signs of psychological abuse; and (3) legal standards must evolve – criteria for restraining orders must be updated to include psychological abuse to protect victims.

FQ: Thank you so much for your time today. Your memoir was incredibly moving, and I applaud you for your courage and strength to rise up and heal. Are you working on your next book and if so, are you able to enlighten us on its subject? If not, what’s next?

MINER: Thank you so much for your kind words. For now, I am working on promoting the book and getting it in the hands of as many people it can help as possible. I have many future book ideas though – mostly focused on empowering women. Stay tuned…and thanks again!

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